Australian Tourism - The daft things people say

Australian Tourism – The daft things people say

SO this little ditty has been doing the rounds of the email circuit for a while now, so you may have already seen it before, but it’s just so funny that I figure it’s my duty to share.

When you’re overseas you get asked the darnedest things by random individuals regarding the Australian way of life. You’d swear that some people think we are only just emerging from primitive times with some of the dribble they come out with.

Supposedly, the questions below were posted to an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour.

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
A: Sure, it’s only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
A: What did your last slave die of?
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not… oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is … oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
A: You are a British politician, right?
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
A: It’s called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
A: Yes, gay night clubs.
A: Only at Christmas.
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
A: Yes, but you’ll have to learn it first.

I especially love the stupidity those Americans come up with. Yes, they are the same morons who always ask Canadians, their far more civilized and intelligent cousins to the North, how they handle the Winters living in igloos. I mean really????

 Image credits: Background image by John Trif (Flickr).

2 Comments

  1. Kyle Cassidy says:

    I love this. Thanks for posting it.

  2. Jess C says:

    My stomach was hurting from laughing at those answers!! GO AUSSIE GO!!!

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